


Sword Lesbians

by Surgeworks



Series: Sword Lesbians [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, There's plenty of DISCUSSED ships and some sexual history discussed but no actual onscreen romance, This is how I handle barrages of Gay Thoughts: write fanfiction about how gay everyone is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25342366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surgeworks/pseuds/Surgeworks
Summary: An examination of sexuality within the Greil Mercenaries.
Series: Sword Lesbians [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835326
Kudos: 6





	Sword Lesbians

"Ike..."

Ike turned away from his sandwich, finding his sister Mist at the door. The mercenary barracks had experienced a bad leak in the mess den where they usually ate, so for once, they were eating lunch apart; there weren't any other rooms capable of comfortably seating eleven people all with a meal, so everyone had just kind of wandered off to whichever room they found nicest to eat in peace until it was fixed. Ike himself had chosen a small office with plenty of sunlight streaming in through a large window. He figured that Mist simply wanted to eat with him, but she didn't have any food with her.

"Yeah? What is it?"

Something important must need his attention; she looked worried, even fearful, and closed the door behind her. He turned in his seat to face her as she walked slowly forward, seeming unsure of herself.

"I...I've got something to tell you."

"What's going on?" he asked.

There was silence for a moment. He was starting to feel on edge; had something bad happened? There was no commotion from outside that he could hear... Payment problems, maybe? Mold? Did she break something?

"Um...I have something I need to confess. And--and I need you to be understanding!"

Seemed like his last guess had been right on the money. He furrowed his brow, his worries being replaced with a slight impatience.

"Spit it out, Mist."

She did not. In fact, with the way she was screwing up her face, she seemed to be actively fighting to keep whatever secrets she held inside her throat. Several seconds passed, and Ike reminded himself to be forgiving, and this allowed his next words to take on more of a teasing tone than a threatening one.

"If you don't tell me," he said, slinging an arm over the back of his chair, "I'll just get someone else to spill it. I'm sure Boyd would be more than happy to--"

"You don't need to do that!" Mist stammered out, a pink flush washing over her face. "I need to tell you that I'm...that I'm not..."

"Not what?" Ike pressed.

"Not...into..."

"Not into the food?" He guessed, thinking perhaps that she was hungry. "It's okay, you know, all kids are picky. Oscar's feelings won't be hurt--"

"I'm not into _men_."

Silence hovered in the air for another few seconds.

"...Oh."

Ike blinked, then turned back to his food.

"Yeah, s-so...so say something!"

"Say what?" Ike asked, blank. " 'Congratulations'?"

"Well, you can't just say _nothing!_ " Mist said, annoyed, and kicking the leg of his chair. "I just told you that I'm a lisbon--"

"--Lesbian."

" _Whatever_. Aren't you going to tell me that's weird, or something?"

"Mist, I don't think--" Ike began, but before he could finish, the door to the office opened up, and a head of green hair poked in.

"Oh, nice, you guys found a great spot for lunch. Pull up a chair, I'll join you."

Boyd's intrusion would've been awkward enough, but then Mist let out a shriek.

"You! You were eavesdropping, weren't you?!"

Boyd's leg met the same fate as the chair's, and he hopped up and down, a comical picture of impotence against the tiny girl's fury.

"Well, I had to make sure you weren't gonna chicken out of it! And you said you didn't want me helping you!"

Ike sat, bemused, as Boyd fended off further assaults from small fists. "When you two are done?"

"Yeah, sorry." came the warrior's answer as he drew up a chair and set his plate full of pork links down next to Ike's, then pulling up a chair and throwing himself into it. Mist did the same, holding her hands in her lap. "So what were you saying, Ike?"

"I was just telling Mist that I don't think there's a single person in the Greil Mercenaries who's straight." he answered, before turning to her. "Why on earth would I tell you it's weird to like women?"

"Whaddya mean?" Mist asked, her voice squeaking slightly as it did when she was timid. She stole a glance at Boyd before looking back at him, and a smile began turning the corner of Ike's mouth in response.

"I _told_ you." Boyd complained, turning to Ike. "I told her you were gay, too, and she didn't believe me."

Ike smiled, and forced back a laugh. He was amazed that he had avoided conversations like this up until now. Somehow, despite being a young girl whose head should be full of romance, Mist had never once questioned Ike's apparent complete disinterest in it, or at least women. He supposed it came with growing up in a band of mercenaries to not care about things like that.

"Well, Mist, I _am_ gay." Ike admitted, voice quieter than he meant it to be--he he had nothing to hide from his sister, but he still wasn't as open and confident about it as Boyd was. "Most of us are. If you were straight, you'd be the weird one, here, cuz you'd be the first. I don't think even Rhys...but he might just not partake in that kind of thing at all, really. I've never been into anything but men."

"Wha--but...but then..." she said, looking frantically back from Boyd to Ike and back. "Then, was he telling the truth about--"

"No." Ike said, already guessing the sorts of things Boyd might've told her and now being the one to aim a kick at him. "God, no."

"No way." Boyd agreed, grinning. "I mean, I know I'm a great catch and you'd be lucky to have me, but..."

"But..." Mist said, still seeming nervous, "But it seems like every time I've seen a priest, they're shouting about it going against the laws of order set by the goddess, or something."

"Mist, we _fought_ the goddess. I think we won the right to declare the new world order to be all _about_ being gay, if we felt like it. Besides, I'm your big brother. Have I ever judged you a day in my life?"

"Well, no..."

"Mist, don't give those priests any thought." Boyd said. "Every last one of 'em is just bitter 'cause his wife left him for a noblewoman."

This made the young girl bite her lip, a second before bursting out into laughter, and Boyd laughed with her. Ike's smile was widening. He wondered if Rhys would be able to confirm anything like that for them, given given his previous walks of life.

"So, no one really cares?" she asked.

"Well, _some_ people might care." the warrior answered. "You're gonna break a lot of boys' hearts when they find out you're not available. Unless it turns out you're playing for both sides, at least. In fact, I'm pretty sure you had a crush on me at one point-- _ow_ , hey!"

"Shut up!" Mist said, turning a furious shade of scarlet. "Besides, you had a crush on Titania! And look how _you_ ended up!"

"I did not!" Boyd said, a slight tinge of pink now coloring his face, too. "Never in my life."

"Well, that completes the triangle, then, doesn't it?" Ike said, a chuckle escaping him. "Three different people getting their feelings all screwed up before they ever figure out they're gay."

"Hold on," the other man said, frowning as he turned to him. "Titania's not gay."

"Yeah, she is." Ike corrected him. "I heard her discussing it with Mia a few months back. She's never been into men, either."

"But I thought..." Mist interjected, confusion lacing her features, and she lowered her voice, leaning forward. "...But I thought she had feelings for, you know... _Dad_..."

"I might've misinterpreted." Ike admitted, shrugging. "I still think I was right, though. Might've just been the same case as you two, you know?"

Boyd scowled. "I didn't have a 'case'. I never had anything for Titania."

"But Ike," Mist said, "You'll still keep it a secret, won't you? ...I don't know why I'm asking you, it's Boyd the Blabbermouth over here I have to worry about." she said, and continued past his protests, "I know we're supposed to be like a family and all, but I just can't think that there's no way I could be open about this and not have to face...some things. Or some _people_. Titania and Mia might not judge, and Rhys never would, but I don't know about Soren, or the likes of Shinon and Gatrie--"

The warrior let out a booming bark of a laugh. "You hardly have to worry about them either, Mist. Soren doesn't talk about it, any more than he talks about being--"

Ike elbowed him in the ribs before he could go any further--the door was open, and besides, neither Soren's sexuality nor his heritage were things the mage was sure to appreciate being talked about in a loud voice with the door open. His point was generally right, but Mist was perhaps right to worry about the tact that Boyd was so often lacking.

"The point is," he said, speaking over yet more protests, "we've got your back. If you don't want us talking about it, we won't. Just...try to remember, we're not going to be much help with getting you any girlfriends."

Mist laughed again, and stood up from her chair. Striding over, she pulled both men into a one-armed hug, and Ike felt a kiss planted on his cheek.

"I guess this is better than a whole lot of awkwardness. I figured you wouldn't care, Ike, I just...didn't wanna feel different from you. And now I guess I don't have to."

"You're...welcome?" Ike answered, ruffling her hair. Mist beamed, and turned to stroll out of the office.

"Good, get lost." Boyd called after her. "Ike and I need to discuss our wedding plans."

Though she was turned away, Ike still knew Mist was rolling her eyes as she closed the door behind them. When it was shut and they both knew she was gone, he turned to Boyd.

"You don't think any of them actually _would_ pick on her, do you?" he asked. "I know Soren wouldn't, never, but Gatrie and Shinon..."

"Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that." Boyd said, chuckling. "Gatrie's...confided in me. He's not any straighter than the rest of us."

"Wow." Ike commented, raising both eyebrows. "So Gatrie finally got Boyded, did he?"

"...What? Whaddya mean by _that_?"

"That's what we call it: Boyd-ing. Whenever a guy makes contact with this mercenary group, and especially you, it's only a matter of time before--"

"Okay, hold on," said the other man, affronted, "I don't have _that_ much sex."

"You have enough." Ike argued. "Way more than the rest of us. Everywhere we go, you leave a trail of previously-straight men in our wake."

"To be fair," Boyd said, "some of them actually _were_ straight. And they still enjoyed themselves. Besides, you make it out like I'm a player. Most of the time it just _happens_."

"So, you and Gatrie were never in bed together?" Ike questioned, raising his fist to rest his cheek against. Boyd looked uncomfortable.

"...Alright, but it was _just the once_." he admitted. "And it was only because he was curious. We both agreed we aren't very into each other."

"But, he wasn't one of the straight ones?"

"No." came the answer. "Most of that talk about girls and constantly pining after them and flirting with them is a front. If things haven't changed since we discussed it, he's definitely into women, just, _way_ more into men." His expression changed suddenly, seeming to remember something. "And you can't tell _anyone_ about that, got it? He's still not really over it all. I don't think he's handling the whole bi thing well at all."

"Got it." Ike said, making a note to forget this part of the conversation happened. "But, what about Shinon? Do you think he'd...?"

"If it comes up, and he's a dick to Mist, I'll knock his teeth out." Boyd said, and Ike nodded in agreement. "I think if there's anyone at all in this mercenary band that's straight, he's definitely a dead-ringer. And we've seen how he can be a real jerk to laguz, so who knows? But..."

"But what?"

"Well, I'm just thinking about things Gatrie's said to me. It's kind of hard, 'cause Gatrie's never been all that great with spelling things out, but if I'm right-- _if_ \--then Shinon's either bi himself, or he's in on it that Gatrie's bi. Either way, it makes it harder to believe he'd go as far as to be an ass about it. But then again, he's an ass about a lot of things."

"We can only hope." Ike said, thinking. The person Shinon was probably nicest to besides Gatrie was Rolf, and he was still generally rude to both of them.

"And, if that turns out to be right, then that makes," Boyd started, counting on his fingers, "You, me, Mist, Oscar, Titania, Soren, whatever Rhys is, Gatrie, Shinon, Mia--Mia's a lesbian too, right...?"

"She's bi. Don't worry, you're not alone, apparently a lot of people just assume she's a lesbian by default." Ike corrected. "Has Rolf said anything to you, yet? Right now's about the time he should be having a lot of questions."

"No, but then, he probably wouldn't." Boyd admitted. "Oscar's the one he'll go to when the time is right. He keeps secrets well. Took me forever to figure out that Shinon was the one who taught him archery, and they laughed their asses off when I finally connected the dots. God, I hope he doesn't turn out to be straight."

"I'm sure he'll join the ranks with his older brothers." Ike commented, grinning, receiving an elbow in return. "Speaking of the ranks, did Oscar ever figure out that thing with Kieran?"

"If he did, he's not telling."

"Shame." Ike commented. "I was kind of interested to see how that thing played out."

"Heh, I didn't take you for a gossip, Ike."

"And you wouldn't take Soren for a ladykiller, either, but then here we are." Ike answered. "Do you think it'll ever come to a head?"

"Doubt it." Boyd answered. "Kieran's a lot like Gatrie--big, loud, and friendly, but _really_ dumb. He's not going to read a signal no matter how blatant. And Oscar's not one to be very blunt with people. I can see why he likes the guy, he rubs off on you really quickly, but he couldn't have picked a steeper uphill climb."

"Rolf's got his work cut out for him. It's gonna be hard to beat one brother who fell for a guy who'll never notice and another brother that charms everyone he meets."

Boyd went a tad pink, punching Ike on the arm.

"And what bar, exactly, are _you_ setting, kissass?"

"I was being serious." Ike protested, smiling. "But I don't have to set the bar. I'm too busy leading all the rest of you. And besides, no one's caught my eye yet."

"Really?" Boyd said, and now it was him with eyebrows raised. "Not even a certain guy with cat ears and tail?"

Ike maintained his composure, though he felt heat threatening his face. "Ranulf and I are _friends_."

"Oh, yeah right. You look at that dude way longer than you ever looked at anyone else. Always so gentle, too! 'Ranulf, you know you can rely on me for anything, right? Ranulf, don't forget, I'm here for you if you need anything'--"

Ike responded by grabbing a pork link and flicking it at him, only for Boyd to catch it in his mouth and begin doing indecent things to it. After that, he decided it was time to finish his lunch and send Boyd on his way with his.


End file.
